Sometimes...

Sometimes good and bad things happen. Sometimes we don't know why. Sometimes God has a sense of humor. Sometimes we take a glimpse of our lives and wonder what lies ahead. Sometimes we have it all together and sometimes we don't. This blog is dedicated to every moment we have--because it reminds us we're alive.

• Sometimes I have a hankering to go to the beach and the best I can do is Utah Lake. At least I could put my feet in some water and not be in an office. Just a little taste of what it will feel like in two and a half weeks when I go on vacation to the Oregon coast.

• Sometimes everyone you know tries to help you feel better and you just end up pushing them away. Thanks to my friends and family who are trying. Pretty much thanks to anyone and everyone who is still talking to me. 
• Sometimes I think life will get better when (fill in the blank). But when it comes down to it, I'll always want something else to help me be happy. It's all part of the journey.
• Sometimes at work things don't go right. And then a group of three brothers comes in and makes it better because they're hilarious. Thanks to these guys for making me laugh. And for putting things in perspective. Just another growing experience...

• Sometimes I wonder why I'm not happy and I realize it's because I don't want to be happy yet. How irrational that someone wouldn't want to be happy. But it's true. How odd.
• Sometimes I feel like a fish drying out in this Utah desert.
• Sometimes I think of good analogies like the following: Working "behind the scenes" at BYU is a little like working "behind the scenes" at Disney. I'm honored to be a part of it, but also a little disenchanted. It takes away a little bit of the "magic." Just ask Megan....
• Speaking of Megan. Sometimes I am a mean boss and ask my employees to do gross jobs like clean the bumpers. Even when it ruins their pants. 

• Sometimes I make great Sunday dinners for my roommates and it surprises me that I can actually cook.

• Sometimes I realize how blatantly honest I am on my blog. I'm basically this honest with everyone all the time. It could get me in trouble, but it's also liberating.
• Sometimes this book makes me so so happy. 

• Sometimes I show up to work and I'm wearing the same pants as my coworker. Guess we know what's in style!

• Sometimes on my afternoon off from work I go to the Llama Fest with my brownie friend and her sisters. It was awesome to get away for a little bit and see life from a different perspective. Don't worry. I definitely bought a Llama shirt!

• Sometimes I take a break from work and see the 60th Anniversary showing of Singin' in the Rain in theaters. Definitely a good decision. 

• Always am I grateful to Heavenly Father that He allows me to learn lessons--be it the first time or after I've fallen flat on my face. Here's to learning a few more lessons in this life. And, almost more importantly, here's to vacation!

Looking forward to the future with Tony Bennett.

Hello to the world!

Lately I feel like I've posted my fair share of less than happy blogs. Well, right this very second in time I love life...and I think it only fair to share these feelings to balance the feelings as of late. Also, I really like bullet points (call it my red personality, controlling nature, perfectionism...take your pick) so I'm going to use them again:

• I remember a couple of years ago when I had just gotten dropped off by my family to enter my sophomore year of college, I was sitting alone in my kitchen. No other roommates had moved in yet, and I felt the most alone I've felt (or at least top 5 for sure). When I was in the "sulking" stage of feeling alone (yes, there are stages), I truly and honestly believed that the only person I had to lean on was Tony Bennett. Random? Yes. But he was about the only person in my itunes at the time. I just listened to his music over and over and over until I convinced myself that everything was going to turn out and that I wouldn't feel that empty and deserted for eternity. Eventually roommates moved in, I started work and school, I volunteered at an elementary school, I got friends and life was happy again.    A few years have now passed, and I found myself at a similar low point. I got home tonight and my roommate was listening to a song that Tony Bennett sings. It reminded me how everything is going to be alright. As Tony Bennett says, "Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking." Such a wise man.
• People always say how happiness is a choice. And happy people live longer. And it just takes a good attitude. Blah blah blah. Guess what? They're right. Today is a day that I've decided to just get over myself and realized that life is not nearly as bad as I think it is. I've heard that I take life more seriously than pretty much everyone else in the whole world. But really...let's take a step back. I work at a bowling alley and a clothing store in Provo, Utah. There's got to be more to life. This whole working 60-70 hour workweeks is temporary. I do have friends. Someone wise told me that I had to live my own life. It would be easy to live or want to live someone else's life. I've got to have my own struggles from which to learn.
• I'm surrounded by people who care about me, even if/when I push them away. I'm blessed to be able to earn money to pay for school which will in turn help me reach my goals and dreams of touching lives in the field of education. Wherever I end up in the world, eventually I will get used to it. And I don't have to decide in the next ten minutes what I'm going to do with my life. Lately I've learned that each and every day will throw you a curve ball--regardless of if you want it or not.
• I've come to realize that the Lord really is watching out for me. In the past week I've had more than a couple experiences a little too special to write about here..I'd just like to say that it's amazing what miracles can happen if you just look for them. I know that God is watching out for me. Thanks to everyone who has kept me in their prayers as of late. I can feel them. 
• I can't really contribute this great feeling I'm experiencing to one thing in particular, but I will say how amazing the power exercise is. I was doing pretty well in the month of May, but then June turned out to be not the most opportune time for exercise. I've decided that with one month until I run with my uncle in Portland, I'd better start getting a little more serious. I cannot have him kicking my trash :). Today was really the first day that I've had a good run since about May...and I'd forgotten just what it does for my life. I feel completely rejuvenated and ready to face the world yet again. 
• So it's a bit ironic...most people talk about storms in their lives and learning to "dance in the rain." Well, I've felt like living in this desert dries my life out--physically, mentally, emotionally...all of it. Today was proof that God does send the rain when we need it most--I mean that literally as well as metaphorically.

If you look closely enough, you can just see the rainbow. 

• Basically, to quote another Tony Bennett song, "The best is yet to come." And I'm really starting to believe that. Definitely looking forward to it. 

(End note: I know that these songs I quoted are not Tony Bennett originals...but they'll do for now.)

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."

This is going to be a conglomeration of things happening in general. I hope you can be amused, entertained or at least have a good moment to ponder life away from school, work, screaming kids, etc.

• The Manti Pageant was awesome. I love that town of 3,040 people. The Christensen family was nice enough to bring me along and let me stay with some of their family overnight! Although there are other cool pageants out there, I will forever and always have a special place in my heart for the Manti "Mormon Miracle" Pageant. Some things that I've pondered since the pageant:
• It's fascinating how much can change in a life from one year to the next...and how much it doesn't change at the same time.
• I love meeting and talking to strangers. Sure, "stranger danger" might be applicable to 5 year olds, but I'm fairly certain that nice families at a Mormon Pageant are pretty safe. 
• There's nothing like a fresh perspective. At all.
• I'd like to visit small towns more often. They have a charm that can't be found anywhere else. 
• Adventures on foot feel quite different than adventures on wheels.

Manti, Utah

7 rows back=great seats!

Jessica, me and Tiffany

• I found this new place called Nellie's Diner that is absolutely delicious. Best dessert in Provo hands down. Here is picture proof that: 
• A-I have friends to eat with.
• B-The dessert is delicious
• C-I do, in fact, take time off work to have fun

• Meanwhile, at work...I've decided that work is great. For so many reasons.
1. It gives me something to do.
2. It pays the bills.
3. It gives me stuff to worry about.
4. I can see my friends.
5. I can buy cute stuff for a good price.
6. I am learning a lot.
• Although it's really tough living 800 miles away from family, I know that they are still cheering for me. Even if it's just through social media, I know that they still love me and are worried. Only about 6 weeks and I'll see them once again.
• Spokane. Goodness I miss that city. I miss the lack of smoke and the abundant rain. The high for Spokane yesterday was Provo's low at night. Hmmm....
• Speaking of smoke. The whole state of Utah seems to be on fire. Not to mention Colorado, Montana, and all the other places as well. I hope the firefighters can get these fires under control. I snapped a few pictures amidst the falling ash on Sunday. 

There are mountains that direction--I promise!

• I've been contemplating life quite a bit lately. I've got two more semesters of classes, one or two semesters of teaching and then I'm going to get this piece of paper that proves I studied and paid a LOT of money to prove I can teach. I'm stoked. For a long time I thought I wanted to stay in Utah, but now I'm not so convinced. Lately, this city has been drawing my attention. Gorgeous, isn't it?

Medford, Oregon

• Sometimes you just need a Happy Birthday cupcake. Especially when it's not your birthday. 

• 4th of July...my plans? Sit inside and watch movies and pray that no fireworks light my house on fire. So here's a rant: I really, really, really do not understand why city officials are still allowing fireworks to be set off when there are so many wildfires burning already. I can only keep my fingers crossed that no major damage happens tomorrow night. But in a positive light: Happy Birthday America!
• I'm obsessed with the movie and I watch it pretty much every chance I get. I can relate to it on some levels and I love watching it. Reese Witherspoon looks really creepy in this picture..

• I have the most difficult time filling my few hours of free time each day. Any suggestions? 

Until next time.....and in case I don't see you--good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.