Is this much happiness even legal?

Wow six months can really fly by when you're having fun. I have been hesitant to blog again because there is so so much that has happened since I last blogged. I'll try to give you the big and important details and leave the specifics to any questions you may want to ask! Here is a quick rundown of what the past six months have  included (proposal story at end):

• Vacation to Oregon! I toured Portland by some of its finest inhabitants: my aunt and uncle. Next up was the Oregon coast with my wonderful family for my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. It was refreshing to get away from the Utah heat and to see that grand Pacific Ocean. We had a wonderful time playing and relaxing (okay, okay....after I got used to not working I had fun!). 

• Vacation to Spokane! A week of seeing my family was just what the doctor ordered after a summer of working 60 hour workweeks. 

• Back to Provo for my last year of class. After getting settled into my new apartment and starting another semester of school I realized that this is where I belong for the time being. Although Provo may not be on the top 10 places to visit in the world, it's home...for now. Fall semester was a lot of school, work, school, work, school, work...you get the picture. (For those of you wondering when I'm ever going to mention the love of my life, just keep reading.)
• I taught for a month in a wonderful second grade class. Not only were those kids adorable, but they taught me life lessons I will never forget. Turns out I can teach! And I LOVE it...the late hours, crying children, all of it. You want to know why? Because I can really make a difference. 
• After a long battle with finals, I came out conqueror with a 4.0 semester. Hooray! I hopped on a plane to Spokane and enjoyed a two week break from school and work as I celebrated the holidays with my family. 
• Back to Provo yet again to finish my last semester of class in college. Where did all the time go?! Now it's Friday and I've finished my last first week of class (for my student life) and I can honestly say this will be the busiest semester of my entire life. But I'm going to make it with flying colors. I know that with the help of Christ I can do hard things. And on a more personal note, this guy cheering me on goes a long way :)

• Okay so now for the moment you all may be waiting for....how in the world I ever got so lucky to be engaged to Sam Mineer. Let me tell you. Well, let me tell you my version...I'm sure he would have a slightly different story :) We met in January of 2012 while working at the BYU Bowling and Games Center. We went on a few dates in February and March, but I was stubborn and  did not want to accept that someone as wonderful as Sam wanted to be with plain old me! I had other things happening in my life that hindered me from jumping into Sam's arms, such as waiting to see how a previous relationship would turn out. I can tell you from personal experience that Sam is the most dedicated, persistent and gentlemanly guy that I have ever known! Although we had our fair share of late night walks discussing dating (or lack of my willingness to date), Sam never once quit being my friend or spoke an ill word about me. Turns out that between semesters we both moved to the same apartment complex, landing us as across the street neighbors and putting us in the same ward at church. What could have been an awkward situation turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life. We continued with our own lives, determined to stay friends (after all, we saw each other every single day at either work or church). I went on working my 60 hour workweeks, finding out that my previous relationship was simply not meant to be, and rediscovering myself. Sam was also pressing forward with work, school and a relationship of his own with someone else. Funny how life works out...the week that I discovered my previous relationship was over was the same week Sam started dating someone else. I think it's fair to say that I spent quite a bit of time kicking myself over and over for not dating Sam while I had the chance. However, "distance makes the heart grow fonder," and over time I began to see so many reasons why Sam was the perfect person for me. Just one simple problem: He was still dating someone else. So all of this happened from about January to July 2012. I went on vacation in early August and realized that my heart really belonged to Sam this whole time (just a little slow on the uptake, I know!).  Sam picked me up from the airport, and using the advice my wise parents gave me, I apologized for not being a better friend over the past months. He was gracious and accepted my apology. I also explained that if there was ever a time in the future when we both weren't dating anyone else that maybe we should give it just one more shot and try dating. He helped me pick up all of my belongings and move into my new apartment in the blistering August heat. Just a few short days later, I heard from Sam that he and his girlfriend had mutually broken up. All I could do was feel so incredibly lucky that Sam was now back on the market ;) We decided to "meet other people" for time being. After about a week and a half of spending every single second of our free time together, on September 9th we decided it was time for us to see each other exclusively. The next four months were the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I was extremely motivated to finish homework and work assignments so that Sam and I could make dinner and enjoy spending time together in the evenings before he left for work. Although we were busy, we always found time to slip secret love notes into each other's backpacks or leave surprises for one another at work. Sam is the world's greatest cook, listener, baby-sitter, smiler, friend and so much more. Over Christmas break he met my family and he got along with everyone (as expected). Sam is studying civil engineering, and my dad is a civil engineer--I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship for them! Okay, sorry this is getting lengthy. We'll get to the proposal story:
• We've been discussing potential wedding plans for a couple of weeks now, and we looked at rings last Saturday. I was 100% convinced that we were not going to get engaged until like February or even March due to our busy schedules with school and trying to get the rings, etc. So Wednesday, January 9th (4 months since we started dating exclusively and exactly 1 year since we started working together) Sam invited me over to his apartment for dinner. He cooked a delicious meal, and we looked at a slideshow of pictures from all periods of his life as we ate. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have realized how fast he finished eating and that one by one all of his roommates left. But I was completely, blissfully oblivious! We planned just to relax and perhaps watch a movie to celebrate our 4 months. Sam mentioned he wanted to show me some pictures from over Christmas break, and I agreed to see them...he has an amazing family and I always like to look at pictures. So we sat on the couch, and we began flipping through pictures. Looking back, it was probably torturous for him as I stopped the slideshow countless times to ask for explanations for the pictures! We got to pictures of him and his family using sparklers on New Years Eve. I saw that some of the pictures were taken with a long exposure, meaning there was enough time to spell out words before the picture was taken...anyways they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and here is the picture that stopped me in my tracks: 

• Even at this point, I thought it was a sweet picture, but still did not connect what was happening. He said, "Hold on I need to go get something." He returned with a letter he had written me and a nice square little box. He read the letter and then said, "Well, there's only one question to ask: Will you marry me for time and all eternity?" I think I said yes about 15 times or more. And I guess you could say the rest is history :) 
• Here are some pictures of us:

Well there's only one question left to ask...is this much happiness even legal?

Sometimes...

Sometimes good and bad things happen. Sometimes we don't know why. Sometimes God has a sense of humor. Sometimes we take a glimpse of our lives and wonder what lies ahead. Sometimes we have it all together and sometimes we don't. This blog is dedicated to every moment we have--because it reminds us we're alive.

• Sometimes I have a hankering to go to the beach and the best I can do is Utah Lake. At least I could put my feet in some water and not be in an office. Just a little taste of what it will feel like in two and a half weeks when I go on vacation to the Oregon coast.

• Sometimes everyone you know tries to help you feel better and you just end up pushing them away. Thanks to my friends and family who are trying. Pretty much thanks to anyone and everyone who is still talking to me. 
• Sometimes I think life will get better when (fill in the blank). But when it comes down to it, I'll always want something else to help me be happy. It's all part of the journey.
• Sometimes at work things don't go right. And then a group of three brothers comes in and makes it better because they're hilarious. Thanks to these guys for making me laugh. And for putting things in perspective. Just another growing experience...

• Sometimes I wonder why I'm not happy and I realize it's because I don't want to be happy yet. How irrational that someone wouldn't want to be happy. But it's true. How odd.
• Sometimes I feel like a fish drying out in this Utah desert.
• Sometimes I think of good analogies like the following: Working "behind the scenes" at BYU is a little like working "behind the scenes" at Disney. I'm honored to be a part of it, but also a little disenchanted. It takes away a little bit of the "magic." Just ask Megan....
• Speaking of Megan. Sometimes I am a mean boss and ask my employees to do gross jobs like clean the bumpers. Even when it ruins their pants. 

• Sometimes I make great Sunday dinners for my roommates and it surprises me that I can actually cook.

• Sometimes I realize how blatantly honest I am on my blog. I'm basically this honest with everyone all the time. It could get me in trouble, but it's also liberating.
• Sometimes this book makes me so so happy. 

• Sometimes I show up to work and I'm wearing the same pants as my coworker. Guess we know what's in style!

• Sometimes on my afternoon off from work I go to the Llama Fest with my brownie friend and her sisters. It was awesome to get away for a little bit and see life from a different perspective. Don't worry. I definitely bought a Llama shirt!

• Sometimes I take a break from work and see the 60th Anniversary showing of Singin' in the Rain in theaters. Definitely a good decision. 

• Always am I grateful to Heavenly Father that He allows me to learn lessons--be it the first time or after I've fallen flat on my face. Here's to learning a few more lessons in this life. And, almost more importantly, here's to vacation!

Looking forward to the future with Tony Bennett.

Hello to the world!

Lately I feel like I've posted my fair share of less than happy blogs. Well, right this very second in time I love life...and I think it only fair to share these feelings to balance the feelings as of late. Also, I really like bullet points (call it my red personality, controlling nature, perfectionism...take your pick) so I'm going to use them again:

• I remember a couple of years ago when I had just gotten dropped off by my family to enter my sophomore year of college, I was sitting alone in my kitchen. No other roommates had moved in yet, and I felt the most alone I've felt (or at least top 5 for sure). When I was in the "sulking" stage of feeling alone (yes, there are stages), I truly and honestly believed that the only person I had to lean on was Tony Bennett. Random? Yes. But he was about the only person in my itunes at the time. I just listened to his music over and over and over until I convinced myself that everything was going to turn out and that I wouldn't feel that empty and deserted for eternity. Eventually roommates moved in, I started work and school, I volunteered at an elementary school, I got friends and life was happy again.    A few years have now passed, and I found myself at a similar low point. I got home tonight and my roommate was listening to a song that Tony Bennett sings. It reminded me how everything is going to be alright. As Tony Bennett says, "Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking." Such a wise man.
• People always say how happiness is a choice. And happy people live longer. And it just takes a good attitude. Blah blah blah. Guess what? They're right. Today is a day that I've decided to just get over myself and realized that life is not nearly as bad as I think it is. I've heard that I take life more seriously than pretty much everyone else in the whole world. But really...let's take a step back. I work at a bowling alley and a clothing store in Provo, Utah. There's got to be more to life. This whole working 60-70 hour workweeks is temporary. I do have friends. Someone wise told me that I had to live my own life. It would be easy to live or want to live someone else's life. I've got to have my own struggles from which to learn.
• I'm surrounded by people who care about me, even if/when I push them away. I'm blessed to be able to earn money to pay for school which will in turn help me reach my goals and dreams of touching lives in the field of education. Wherever I end up in the world, eventually I will get used to it. And I don't have to decide in the next ten minutes what I'm going to do with my life. Lately I've learned that each and every day will throw you a curve ball--regardless of if you want it or not.
• I've come to realize that the Lord really is watching out for me. In the past week I've had more than a couple experiences a little too special to write about here..I'd just like to say that it's amazing what miracles can happen if you just look for them. I know that God is watching out for me. Thanks to everyone who has kept me in their prayers as of late. I can feel them. 
• I can't really contribute this great feeling I'm experiencing to one thing in particular, but I will say how amazing the power exercise is. I was doing pretty well in the month of May, but then June turned out to be not the most opportune time for exercise. I've decided that with one month until I run with my uncle in Portland, I'd better start getting a little more serious. I cannot have him kicking my trash :). Today was really the first day that I've had a good run since about May...and I'd forgotten just what it does for my life. I feel completely rejuvenated and ready to face the world yet again. 
• So it's a bit ironic...most people talk about storms in their lives and learning to "dance in the rain." Well, I've felt like living in this desert dries my life out--physically, mentally, emotionally...all of it. Today was proof that God does send the rain when we need it most--I mean that literally as well as metaphorically.

If you look closely enough, you can just see the rainbow. 

• Basically, to quote another Tony Bennett song, "The best is yet to come." And I'm really starting to believe that. Definitely looking forward to it. 

(End note: I know that these songs I quoted are not Tony Bennett originals...but they'll do for now.)

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."

This is going to be a conglomeration of things happening in general. I hope you can be amused, entertained or at least have a good moment to ponder life away from school, work, screaming kids, etc.

• The Manti Pageant was awesome. I love that town of 3,040 people. The Christensen family was nice enough to bring me along and let me stay with some of their family overnight! Although there are other cool pageants out there, I will forever and always have a special place in my heart for the Manti "Mormon Miracle" Pageant. Some things that I've pondered since the pageant:
• It's fascinating how much can change in a life from one year to the next...and how much it doesn't change at the same time.
• I love meeting and talking to strangers. Sure, "stranger danger" might be applicable to 5 year olds, but I'm fairly certain that nice families at a Mormon Pageant are pretty safe. 
• There's nothing like a fresh perspective. At all.
• I'd like to visit small towns more often. They have a charm that can't be found anywhere else. 
• Adventures on foot feel quite different than adventures on wheels.

Manti, Utah

7 rows back=great seats!

Jessica, me and Tiffany

• I found this new place called Nellie's Diner that is absolutely delicious. Best dessert in Provo hands down. Here is picture proof that: 
• A-I have friends to eat with.
• B-The dessert is delicious
• C-I do, in fact, take time off work to have fun

• Meanwhile, at work...I've decided that work is great. For so many reasons.
1. It gives me something to do.
2. It pays the bills.
3. It gives me stuff to worry about.
4. I can see my friends.
5. I can buy cute stuff for a good price.
6. I am learning a lot.
• Although it's really tough living 800 miles away from family, I know that they are still cheering for me. Even if it's just through social media, I know that they still love me and are worried. Only about 6 weeks and I'll see them once again.
• Spokane. Goodness I miss that city. I miss the lack of smoke and the abundant rain. The high for Spokane yesterday was Provo's low at night. Hmmm....
• Speaking of smoke. The whole state of Utah seems to be on fire. Not to mention Colorado, Montana, and all the other places as well. I hope the firefighters can get these fires under control. I snapped a few pictures amidst the falling ash on Sunday. 

There are mountains that direction--I promise!

• I've been contemplating life quite a bit lately. I've got two more semesters of classes, one or two semesters of teaching and then I'm going to get this piece of paper that proves I studied and paid a LOT of money to prove I can teach. I'm stoked. For a long time I thought I wanted to stay in Utah, but now I'm not so convinced. Lately, this city has been drawing my attention. Gorgeous, isn't it?

Medford, Oregon

• Sometimes you just need a Happy Birthday cupcake. Especially when it's not your birthday. 

• 4th of July...my plans? Sit inside and watch movies and pray that no fireworks light my house on fire. So here's a rant: I really, really, really do not understand why city officials are still allowing fireworks to be set off when there are so many wildfires burning already. I can only keep my fingers crossed that no major damage happens tomorrow night. But in a positive light: Happy Birthday America!
• I'm obsessed with the movie and I watch it pretty much every chance I get. I can relate to it on some levels and I love watching it. Reese Witherspoon looks really creepy in this picture..

• I have the most difficult time filling my few hours of free time each day. Any suggestions? 

Until next time.....and in case I don't see you--good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. 

That awkward moment..

That awkward moment when: 

• You're really hungry, but you don't have the desire to make or buy food.
• You walk around in a fog and you feel like the only solution is that you're in an alternate universe.
• You realize that everyone wants to give advice. 
• You realize all that advice is wrong.
• You should have gone with your gut to begin with.
• You remember you were supposed to be training for a half marathon, but you haven't run in about 2 weeks.
• You see someone you know, so you wave at them. Except they just turn around and walk away.
• You see someone you really need to talk to, but they just smile and scurry.
• You realize you don't have to do anything. Ever.
• You have great ideas, but they're scattered all over the place. Literally.
• All you want to do is sit curled up on your couch and have your mom cook for you, but then you remember you live 800 miles away from home, and mapquest estimates it will take 11 hours and 25 minutes to get there by car.
• You get out of your car and you see it spraying anti-freeze/coolant everywhere. And then 10 people start looking and whispering. And you say to yourself, "Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."

• You work 60 hours a week and then come home and do the dishes. Every day.
• What you thought was a weakness in others and a strength in you really turns out to be a strength for others and a weakness for you.
• You realize every song ever written is about love.
• You realize you're an island.
• You don't know what you're supposed to do at your job, and everyone keeps asking every 2 seconds for an answer.
• Taylor Swift reminds you that "Everybody's waiting. Everybody's watching. Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown. Everybody's watching to see the fallout." And yet, you continue to write a blog. 
• People tell you to "just be happy." And that it will never help to sit around for the rest of your life. And all you can do is restrain yourself from punching them in the face.
• You're ready for this.
• You feel like you're 13 even though you're 21. I should be able to "handle" life by this point. Right?
• All you want to do is go walk down this street:

• You're upset that you don't have cable TV for the single reason that you can't watch House Hunters or Golden Girls.

• You miss this. 47 more days.

• You remember you're supposed to be making huge decisions. But you can't even decide what shirt to wear for the day.
• You calculate your budget and wish you could return 79% of the stuff you've bought in the last month.
• You want to buy a half baked chocolate chip cookie sundae and the diner is closed after you get off work.
• You have so much more you could say, but you should probably be done blogging for the time being.